Recently, we have been making some big decision, going through some major changes, and learning a lot. After years of struggling, Derek has been diagnosed with ADHD and is getting help.
Derek has been in counseling for over a year for anxiety. We started it during Kevin's last deployment, and it helped significantly. Unfortunately, when Derek was at school, all of his coping strategies went out the window. He really struggled last year, both socially and academically. My straight A student was failing half of his assignments, and not because he didn't know how to do the work.
This summer, Derek's therapist brought up the idea of trying medication. He felt like it would give Derek a paddle to help him as he swims upstream. I freely admit, that at first, I was shocked, then offended. I thought, "My child doesn't need medication. What are you thinking?"
The more I thought about it though, the more selfish I realized my thoughts were. Why would I be too proud to get my son some help, especially if he really needed it? And so I started asking questions. I was amazed at how many people had a story about ADHD - their own child, a friend, an adult they knew who never got meds until they were grown. The more I heard, the more I realized that I wasn't doing any favors to Derek by not at least getting him checked out.
After many, many forms, observations, and meetings with his pediatrician and a psychiatrist, we learned that Derek definitely has ADHD. And so the meds began, and now we have a new part of our morning routine - taking his pills (along with some vitamins, which he now actually remembers to take).
And it has made a huge difference for my boy. HUGE. For the first time in his life, he is not just scraping by behaviorally, but is actually getting singled out for his great behavior. He listens and focuses better, and his frustration level has gone way down. We still have other strategies in place to help out as well, but things are going great.
But the story doesn't end there. You see, as we were filling out the endless paperwork for Derek, we noticed that Lily had s good majority of the symptoms. I remembered how back when she was 4, her preschool teacher thought she might be ADD, and although we got her counseling at the time, we didn't know how to go about getting a diagnosis. After talking with her and looking at her struggling over many years, we decided to talk to the pediatrician about it.
After more paperwork, we are now started on the path to get Lily some more help too. I am praying that it is the answer for her, or that we will find the answer as we explore this path. It is all definitely an adjustment, but hopefully, will be an adjustment for good.
Last Sunday, I watched a little boy struggle to stay where he was supposed to be while practicing for the Primary program. I talked with his mom and she was relieved that I observed the behavior. They were trying to give him a break from the medication over the weekends, but she felt his Sunday behavior was off. She now feels like she has the "witness" of someone else. Medication can be a tool to help with compulsions and focus.
Posted by: Deanna | October 03, 2014 at 08:35 AM
As you an see I am way behind in blog reading . . . So glad you found some answers for Derek and especially glad that it is helping him out! Yay! I bet that was a tough decision to feel "ok" about medication, but if it's going to help him succeed in school (and life!) it's probably a good path to go. :)
Posted by: shannon b | October 03, 2014 at 07:27 AM